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"If you're lucky, you'll meet someone who brings out the best in you. If you're very lucky, it will be the kind of best you didn't know you had."
July 15th, 2009
June 25th, 2007
LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?
And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.
And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.
I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me. 125
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?
And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.
And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.
I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me. 125
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown
June 23rd, 2007
Losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don't even try. little miss sunshine
May 1st, 2007
December 8th, 2006
I work at http://www.npcc.on.ca
You should read this, my co-worker sent it to me yesterday - some of it is sub par - but overall - it's why i cannot wait to get to work every morning!
Am the Child
I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of - I see that as well.
I am aware of much - whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me.
I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -
great strides in development that you can credit yourself.
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable - I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own,
working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.
I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair,
to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again.
I am dependant on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strifes and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean,
to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher.
If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.
- Author Unknown
You should read this, my co-worker sent it to me yesterday - some of it is sub par - but overall - it's why i cannot wait to get to work every morning!
Am the Child
I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of - I see that as well.
I am aware of much - whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me.
I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -
great strides in development that you can credit yourself.
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable - I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own,
working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.
I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair,
to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again.
I am dependant on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strifes and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean,
to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher.
If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.
- Author Unknown
September 15th, 2006
HIYA!
I'm having a lil' bit of a mid-life crisis and I am sort of need help. I'm reading Dr.Phil - yeah it's that bad! haha and I came across a survey to be completed by people who know me to various degrees. So I figured I might as well post it here and see if I can't get myself some responses. It's sort of long but I'd really appreciate it!!! Comment back and I'll do the same survey for you if you want??
Please describe something that I consistently do well.
Please name one thing you have seen me do well.
Please tell me the best thing about how I look.
Can you remember any time that I seemed to be happiest?
Tell me what you think my strongest traits are.
If you were going to describe my best strengths with three words, what would they be?
If you were in a situation in which you thought I could help you in some way, what would that situation be?
Can you tell me any aspect you respect about me?
If you had to describe me as a car, what kind of car would I be?
If you had to describe me as an animal, what kind of animal would I be? Why?
I'm having a lil' bit of a mid-life crisis and I am sort of need help. I'm reading Dr.Phil - yeah it's that bad! haha and I came across a survey to be completed by people who know me to various degrees. So I figured I might as well post it here and see if I can't get myself some responses. It's sort of long but I'd really appreciate it!!! Comment back and I'll do the same survey for you if you want??
Please describe something that I consistently do well.
Please name one thing you have seen me do well.
Please tell me the best thing about how I look.
Can you remember any time that I seemed to be happiest?
Tell me what you think my strongest traits are.
If you were going to describe my best strengths with three words, what would they be?
If you were in a situation in which you thought I could help you in some way, what would that situation be?
Can you tell me any aspect you respect about me?
If you had to describe me as a car, what kind of car would I be?
If you had to describe me as an animal, what kind of animal would I be? Why?
July 26th, 2006
yawwwwnnnns
39 hours in 3 days isn't cool - the madness needs to stop. haha.
I got hired at NPCC - for those who didn't know. I'm now working part time in the CAST (augmentative and alternative communication team) and also just found out that I got hired part time for the IPS (infant and preschool services team). This is very exciting....very very exciting!
In other news - the rest of my life is fab-u-lous! :)
39 hours in 3 days isn't cool - the madness needs to stop. haha.
I got hired at NPCC - for those who didn't know. I'm now working part time in the CAST (augmentative and alternative communication team) and also just found out that I got hired part time for the IPS (infant and preschool services team). This is very exciting....very very exciting!
In other news - the rest of my life is fab-u-lous! :)
March 12th, 2006
you should really go here now!
i would rather be dumb than a slut
but i would rather be a slut than fat and ugly
i would rather be dumb than a slut
but i would rather be a slut than fat and ugly
January 31st, 2006
Hi.
I like several things. Today I shall tell you about them.
Danielle helped me with my printing of my damn'd good pamphlet thing I made for class.
I love my placement at NPCC - and the little girlie I work with is adorable.
I found an amazing site for the presentation that I have to do on Wednesday.
I love asparagus. a lot.
Next week in our pharmacology class a pharmacologist is coming. cheers to guestspeakers!
The weather is splendid. Could use a little more snow but I'm satisifed with clear skys!
Hood, Mel & D? vs. M.T.Bellies...on Saturday!
AND - I am now going to Gabes' house to make granola bars. hell yeah! haha
mmmm.annoying.jubilation.mmmmm.
I like several things. Today I shall tell you about them.
Danielle helped me with my printing of my damn'd good pamphlet thing I made for class.
I love my placement at NPCC - and the little girlie I work with is adorable.
I found an amazing site for the presentation that I have to do on Wednesday.
I love asparagus. a lot.
Next week in our pharmacology class a pharmacologist is coming. cheers to guestspeakers!
The weather is splendid. Could use a little more snow but I'm satisifed with clear skys!
Hood, Mel & D? vs. M.T.Bellies...on Saturday!
AND - I am now going to Gabes' house to make granola bars. hell yeah! haha
mmmm.annoying.jubilation.mmmmm.
January 6th, 2006
December 29th, 2005
| ||||||||
November 29th, 2005
So Child and Youth is an absolute waste of time. Wow. We had the what did you learn from the class chat. I can't even describe how little I learned...meh at least I'm doing well with minimal effort.
November 27th, 2005
Hi
work christmas party - I think one lady cheated on her husband..with a very creepy columbian. I also think the entire party was an episode of teen girl squad waiting to happen. I had a decent time.
schoolio - I'm hurting this week. I have two essays, a final and a therapy session for /r/....and bla bla bla.
I've also got about 5 more observational hours to complete. I absolutely loveee these though, they are awesome.
ANNNDDD...My placement is with the CAST team at NPCC. This is exciting news if you didn't already know that! The kiddies I'll be with are mainly non-verbal and they'll all have various augementative and alternative methods of communication. I'll be working directly with 2 speech language pathologists, an occupational therapist and a physio therapist....this is an obvious advantage, as I'll be able to see what I'll want to take in grad school - which is one of many major reasons I decided to take my CDA first.
Anyways - I'll stop wasting time and get cracking on the essays. Maybe one day I'll see you all again! :)
work christmas party - I think one lady cheated on her husband..with a very creepy columbian. I also think the entire party was an episode of teen girl squad waiting to happen. I had a decent time.
schoolio - I'm hurting this week. I have two essays, a final and a therapy session for /r/....and bla bla bla.
I've also got about 5 more observational hours to complete. I absolutely loveee these though, they are awesome.
ANNNDDD...My placement is with the CAST team at NPCC. This is exciting news if you didn't already know that! The kiddies I'll be with are mainly non-verbal and they'll all have various augementative and alternative methods of communication. I'll be working directly with 2 speech language pathologists, an occupational therapist and a physio therapist....this is an obvious advantage, as I'll be able to see what I'll want to take in grad school - which is one of many major reasons I decided to take my CDA first.
Anyways - I'll stop wasting time and get cracking on the essays. Maybe one day I'll see you all again! :)
November 15th, 2005
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
My speech box is assembled, write ups tomorrow and then I hand 'er in! This has been quite the amount of work let me tell you, fortunately it was fun. Ten therapy items with two functions each (all effective)....go figure.
In other educational news: next week I provide therapy to my professor's (and manager of speech services Niagara) daughter. We are working on /r/ too - nerve racking much? She'll be video taping us and we’ll all watch each other afterwards….I'm surprisingly more excited than nervous at the moment.
November 9th, 2005
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  6.3 |
| Mind: |  6.7 |
| Body: | 7 |
| Spirit: |  8.2 |
| Friends/Family: |  3.3 |
| Love: |  2.1 |
| Finance: | 7.1 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
November 2nd, 2005
wow -
i realllllllly missed adrian. so damn'd successful and still an absolutely incredible guy. This is more of a mental note post (mental note: keep in touch this time) then anything else...lame i know - but deal with it.
/the/end/
i realllllllly missed adrian. so damn'd successful and still an absolutely incredible guy. This is more of a mental note post (mental note: keep in touch this time) then anything else...lame i know - but deal with it.
/the/end/
October 28th, 2005
Hi,
observational hours are a difficult thing to set up. Within about 2 days I have recieved and made about 1000 phone calls, playing phone tag with speech path's. They've told me all sorts of information, front foyers, fluency, as many kiddies as possible, hospital, something about corporeity, only in on tuesday, SSN, St.Andrews school - bla - bla - bla. Two called as I was on my way out..I dunno this organization thing is not pretty. I'm so confused.
Hello Katie - you're already confused in just setting up observational hours...fuck. AND I think I may have already missed one? Or so my notes tell me....better notes, yes, work on that. Have I mentioned fuck? Have I also mentioned using your computer to take down phone messages is not suggested. Yes. not suggested. Fucking help me if I already missed one....fuck fuck fuck.
observational hours are a difficult thing to set up. Within about 2 days I have recieved and made about 1000 phone calls, playing phone tag with speech path's. They've told me all sorts of information, front foyers, fluency, as many kiddies as possible, hospital, something about corporeity, only in on tuesday, SSN, St.Andrews school - bla - bla - bla. Two called as I was on my way out..I dunno this organization thing is not pretty. I'm so confused.
Hello Katie - you're already confused in just setting up observational hours...fuck. AND I think I may have already missed one? Or so my notes tell me....better notes, yes, work on that. Have I mentioned fuck? Have I also mentioned using your computer to take down phone messages is not suggested. Yes. not suggested. Fucking help me if I already missed one....fuck fuck fuck.
October 25th, 2005
Does anyone (else) think blind people should be ban from using the word 'see'?
.
.